Chapter 6, Leaving Lijiang to Return Home
As I pondered, I realized that our family is in Jiangyin, and despite my extensive knowledge, there is simply no opportunity for it to be utilized in a third-tier city like Jiangyin. Therefore, I decided to seek employment nearby in Wuxi. With Weiwei's arrival, I would have a companion, so I persuaded her to come.
Upon returning home, as I needed to rush the manuscript for Weiwei, I urged my mother to pull the internet cable, thus making life no longer monotonous. When someone comes, I can reply, "I need to finish my manuscript, I'll head back to my room first," and then dive into the inner room. If they do not leave, I will not come out.
As Weiwei is not present, I have sent an offline file and also changed my QQ signature to: "Longing for the human heart is not as fluid as water, yet waves can rise from a flat surface." This line from Liu Yuxi's "Bamboo Branch Song" expresses the rumors and gossip I have encountered at home these days
I laughed foolishly, echoing along, and from then on, I no longer dared to go out, spending every day cooped up at home
"You still look so young, not old at all. When your boyfriend comes back, and the wedding is held, then having a child will complete everything." She had a face full of envy
Yanzi also said: "When Liu Xiaojie got married back then, she was already three months pregnant, and the child was born seven months after the wedding"
Aunt, little aunt, and mom were also saying: "Eat slowly, no one is competing with you!"
At this moment, Yan Zi displayed the traditional demeanor of rural women, pouting her lips and wearing a disdainful expression, saying: "Back in our time, the customs were still quite proper; how many families were like this? However, they did end up getting married, and because of this, the bride's family even asked for two thousand less in betrothal gifts!"
It was only after I said "You sent it to the wrong person" that he reacted, cautiously typing and sending a message that read, "You must have a very good relationship; otherwise, you wouldn't be so angry. However, even if you are angry, you should maintain your composure. It's not becoming for a girl to be angry"
I no longer believe in love, nor do I believe in marriage. What can the law guarantee? There is no greater sorrow than a dead heart; can the law nurture life when the heart is dead?
"Don't scare me anymore. After watching 'When Mother-in-Law Meets Mother', I can no longer bear the fright. If you continue to stir the pot, I will become a monk tomorrow." I used to think that the family conflicts portrayed on television were meant to intimidate the unmarried, but now I truly feel that a well-fed person does not understand the hunger of the starving.
My aunt even prepared the chair for me, allowing me to sit down
Seeing him being so nagging and annoying, I sent a message saying, "It's fine, I'm logging off, we'll chat later," and then set my online status to invisible to him, continuing to chat casually with Yu Weiwei
The next day, I went to the shops in the street to buy cooking condiments, and the sights and experiences along the way were both touching and thought-provoking
I had not even swallowed a bite of food when I was suddenly choked. I had just entered the house, and they were already so eager. I saw my mother waiting expectantly for my answer, and even my father was all ears. So, I fabricated the lie I had already thought of on the way: "Mom, following your instructions, I decided to go to the United States first to take some photos and then come back to collect the certificate. The banquet is just a matter of minutes, right? Once it's legally recognized, won't you feel at ease?" I fabricated the lie I had already thought of on the way: "Mom, following your instructions, I decided to go to the United States first to take some photos and then come back to collect the certificate. The banquet is just a matter of minutes, right? Once it's legally recognized, won't you feel at ease?"
I first encountered my second grandmother, and she said: "Douzi, it is time for you to get married, isn't it?"
If it were 120,000 yuan, I could also build my parents a small villa. Money is indeed substantial!
Money. Only money is real
It is precisely these individuals whose eyes always reveal a sense of disdain and contempt, which makes me feel even more contemptuous.
The feeling of returning home is truly wonderful, with clothes coming to hand and meals being served. After rushing all the way here, I am indeed quite hungry. However, upon seeing the pig's trotters, I suddenly thought of Zhu Yesheng's stinky feet, which made me feel so disgusted that I couldn't eat.
I have always been sensitive to words, pondering over lyrics, poetry, beautiful prose, and even the lines from television dramas whenever I have the time. Upon hearing this song, the gathering and parting are beyond our control. In the end, will happiness still remain in its place? If only you turn back, can you find it? Or, if I follow your direction, will I be able to see the form of happiness?
At that moment, Daniel, who had not messaged for a long time, sent a shake notification. I dislike it when others shake, so I responded with a shake and said, "Sudden shaking can startle people"
Whispers and rumors, love is like a sunny day. How much love can withstand gossip? If I alone cannot bear it, how can two people manage without becoming more chaotic? No wonder some love that was originally strong collapses when it comes to marriage. It is not due to local customs, nor is it because of dowries and houses; ultimately, it is because too much idle chatter has been heard, leading to concern over matters that were once insignificant.
I heard that I have returned, and my high school classmate Yanzi came to see me. After graduating from high school, she did not get into university and got married instead. Now she is already a mother of two children. Our paths have diverged, and we can no longer find common ground in our conversations, so we can only pick shared topics and talk about those old classmates whose names we can hardly remember.
Suddenly, I heard the ending theme song on the television: "I have wronged you, the mist obscures my eyes. The falling flowers, though so beautiful in an instant, vanish without a trace the next moment. I have wronged you, powerless to appreciate the scenery in chaotic times, the passionate rain and mist bring together and separate, I leave happiness in its place.
How great are the mothers of the world
Yuwei came up to me, asking me to write an article about the state of a woman who has experienced heartbreak. I scoffed and cursed, "Are you out of your mind? Aren't you just rubbing salt in the wound? I always considered you a good friend!"
As far as I understand, the customs in the northern regions are relatively feudal, viewing premarital pregnancy as more serious than infidelity, to the extent that they would wish to cast such individuals into the pond, never to be reborn; whereas the further south one goes, the more tolerant the attitudes become, with premarital pregnancy being regarded with indifference. The saying "get on the boat first, then buy the ticket" is popular, and many rural couples have had two children before even getting married.
He replied with "OK"
One can imagine how much gossip Liu Xiaojie must have heard in the village at that time. It is said that she and her husband are now living very happily, with her husband preparing foot baths for her every evening. Such happiness is bound to evoke a degree of jealousy.
In the evening, my mother thought for a long time and finally couldn't help but ask me: "When do you plan to go to the United States? My legs are not convenient, and I am worried about you going alone. How about having your father go with you?"
A few days later, my mother began to urge me again: "When are you going to the United States? Don't you need to apply for a passport? Hurry up and take care of it, this is a significant matter!"
The arrival of Yan Zi made me realize the terrifying nature of marriage. Such a marriage is not what I desire
So be it, I cannot compare with you. With two children, I worry every day and have no aspirations left
Good, good!
"Then he must come back! You are already in your thirties, and if you don't have children soon, there won't be any opportunity left!" said the aunt.
My mother didn't understand, so I said I was going to write a draft, leaving her alone, moved to tears. This television drama has garnered quite a bit of tears from the elderly
As she spoke, my mother's eyes became moist, and I suddenly felt ashamed of my years of insensitivity. A good mother is truly a blessing
Indeed! The wife of Dabao from our village has been married for five years and there has been no sign of pregnancy. At first, she searched everywhere for remedies, and now she is in the midst of a divorce! Without children, what status does a woman have?
After being admitted to university, we continued to correspond. She often asked me to recommend a few books for her to read, and I even sent her a collection of essays by Yan Ge Ling. Later, she had a child and became busy, and she stopped reading. When the internet was just developing, we exchanged emails, but gradually we lost contact, and we didn't reach out to each other even once a year
As I walked to the store, the shopkeeper's wife said, "Oh, Douzi is back? Your mother has been mentioning you every day! Are you back to arrange a wedding feast?"
I chuckle foolishly and continue to eat my meal
I count on my fingers, four years of campus love, I worked for three years while he pursued his master's for three years, two years studying for a doctorate in the United States, and three years working in New York—a love lasting twelve years has not also withered away
What you said, you must not deceive your mother again
"Yes, there is, and there is also a plate of stir-fried pork with lettuce," replied my aunt.
After hearing too much idle gossip, how can love still resemble a sunny day
"Do not speak nonsense, how old are you? My daughter is still young!" My mother can say that I am not small anymore, that I am an old maid, but she does not allow others to say it, not even me.
My aunt brought the dish to me, and when I looked, wasn't it pork? Dead Zhu Ye Sheng, why do your voice and smile always appear before me? Since you are heartless, do not blame me for being ungrateful! I quickly finished the pork in no time at all
Yu Weiwei mentioned that there is an opportunity to work in Wuxi at their company, and the leadership intends to send her there, but she does not wish to go
The beans are back, take a quick rest after this journey
Upon encountering my neighbor, Aunt Wang, she greeted me and said, "Douzi has made something of herself, finding a good family." It seemed she had more to say, as she added, "You aren't married yet, are you? Don't delay, hurry up and get it done, your mother is quite worried!"
He repeatedly said "Sorry" with great regret
Originally, I wanted to meet my old classmates, but Yan Zi's arrival completely dispelled my thoughts, so I became even more reclusive and went nowhere
I first went to my mother to comfort her: "Mom, I am sorry, please scold me! If it weren't for me hanging up the phone, you wouldn't have fallen."
A few days later, I sent the organized draft to Yu Weiwei on QQ and saw an offline message from Daniel: "How have you been lately? There has been a cold wave these days, be careful not to catch a cold."
With nothing to do, I opened my email and looked at the messages sent by Zhu Yesheng from nine years ago—there are so many accumulated over time. From "Every day, your shadow fills my mind, making it hard to concentrate on my research," to "Thinking of you warms my heart," then to later messages like "It's getting cold, wear more clothes," and finally to the heartless farewell message, "Find a good person and get married," reading them made me feel distressed. I changed my status to "Casually, the heart of an old friend has changed, yet I say the heart of an old friend has already changed." This is a line from a poem by the Qing Dynasty poet Nalan Rongruo, where the original line is "Yet I say the heart of an old friend is fickle." I changed "fickle" to "already" to express my strong condemnation and dissatisfaction towards this heartless man who has changed his feelings.
Seeing his attentiveness and concern, I feel much warmer inside
When she spoke, she leaned close to my ear, as if revealing a great secret to me. Those who did not know would think we were plotting to rob a bank. However, I did not show the thirst for knowledge she expected; I merely said, "Many people are like this now"
Because I was feeling annoyed, seeing him meddle further irritated me, so I said: "Sister, I am in a very good mood."
Mom! Dad, what will you do in the past? We can't trouble Auntie every day. I am already of an age where, not to mention going to America, I wouldn't get lost even if I went to the moon. Don't worry, I will take a photo and come back.
It's nothing, just a cold
Later, he sent another message. I occasionally replied with either "OK" or "Oh." Finally, he typed a line of text and asked me: "What’s wrong? If you’re feeling down, you can tell me."
What do you believe in? I asked
At times, I feel that my indifference towards him is quite unjustified
Mother, how could I dare to disobey your command? This time, even if you drive me away, I will not leave! I must first appease my mother.
Silly girl, hurry up and eat your meal, I am fine now, your return makes me happy
As the plane landed and we transferred to the bus, I felt increasingly closer to home as the vehicle traveled along familiar streets. I finally experienced the sentiment of 'the closer to home, the more apprehensive I become.' It was not the unfamiliarity from being away for so long that frightened me, but rather the fear of being bombarded by my numerous relatives. Throughout the journey, I pondered what new lie I could concoct that would not only bring a smile to my mother's face but also protect myself.
From time to time, he comes over wanting to engage in marital relations with me. Am I foolish? We are already divorced. He secretly sends me flowers and necklaces behind his wife's back; I accept all the gifts, but I do not want him.
In high school, there were only a few friends with whom I occasionally kept in touch during university as well
As one ages, worries increase, especially for older single women. You cannot understand why those idle neighbors are so concerned about you.
I fear that Yanzi will talk about who has become pregnant out of wedlock again, who has had a miscarriage, who has quarreled with their mother-in-law over family matters, and who is in conflict with their husband over divorce... Therefore, I changed the subject and asked her how she has been doing
Somehow, the two dialogue boxes got mixed up, and I sent this message to Daniel. Realizing I had sent it by mistake, I quickly apologized: "I'm sorry!" I then sent another message saying, "I didn't mean you." I noticed he hadn't responded, and I guessed that at this moment he must have had a look of confusion on his face, furrowing his brows, unsure of how to react.
Aunt, do you have something lighter? I haven't had breakfast yet, and I can't eat something so greasy!
The days at home are quite leisurely. Without work, without colleagues or friends, one is left in such solitude that only wild thoughts can arise. Under the constant urging of relatives and friends to "get married," my mind feels like it is about to explode, and I must still appear gentle, polite, and willing. My mother urges me three times a day, while I evade her three times a day, spending my days like years in this game of hide and seek.
"A marriage can change a person." The former Yu Weiwei never had such cunning!
This reminds me of an interview with a sales office regarding the love stories of young couples buying their first homes. The sales manager mentioned that in one day, two couples broke up simply because of whose name was on the property certificate and how much each contributed.
Indeed, upon hearing of my return, my eldest aunt, second aunt, and younger maternal aunt had been waiting at my home early on, claiming to be there to attend to my mother, but in reality, it was to "conveniently" inquire about my affairs. What merit do I possess to warrant such concern from my esteemed elders
After adding it, he sent a message saying "Thank you"
In the evening, I accompanied my mother to watch television, and the popular show "Ruyi" was on air. Just by looking at a few of the main actors, one could tell it was a Republic of China drama. My mother was very engrossed, constantly worrying about Ruyi. I laughed at her, saying, "Crying for the ancients while watching the Three Kingdoms," as it was all just acting, so why take it so seriously? However, my mother replied, "This child has it so hard, who wouldn't feel sorry for her?" I thought to myself, if my mother had a son, she would surely be a good mother-in-law. I pointed out to my mother who had a wicked look; who obviously was just there for a cameo and would die after a couple of scenes; who was stubborn, valuing the jade pendant more than life itself. Yet my mother insisted, "This child has it so hard, who wouldn't feel sorry for her?" I thought to myself, if my mother had a son, she would surely be a good mother-in-law. I pointed out to my mother who had a wicked look; who obviously was just there for a cameo and would die after a couple of scenes; who was stubborn, valuing the jade pendant more than life itself.
I do not wish to continue this topic, so I said: "Is that so?"
One day, Weiwei called me to get online. I ran to my neighbor's house, and just as I logged in, the request to add a friend chimed. I clicked to check, and it was from a stranger, so I clicked to decline. After a while, another request came in, and when I opened it, the verification message read, "It's me, Daniel." It turned out to be ABC; wasn't he the one who didn't chat? He actually made an exception for me; could he have some thoughts? However, he is not my type, so I didn't think much of it. It turned out to be ABC; wasn't he the one who didn't chat? He actually made an exception for me; could he have some thoughts? However, he is not my type, so I didn't think much of it.
I want to say, am I really that close to you? You even meddle in matters like "Aunt Flo," you really dare to speak! I replied to him with a sweating emoji and said, "I can't live without meat, and not drinking carbonated drinks would be fatal." He just replied with a dull "OK." What a reserved person! I said goodbye, not even giving him a chance to respond, and quickly logged off.
After a long time, a QQ avatar was flashing. I clicked on it and saw Daniel asking: "Are you there? Are you feeling down?"
I greatly dislike it when others mention Zhu Yesheng, yet he is always the featured male guest whenever anyone speaks to me
I set him aside and continued chatting with Yu Weiwei. Yu Weiwei talked about her ex-husband
You should rest more, drink more water, ensuring eight cups of water each day, consume fewer carbonated beverages, eat less red meat and more white meat; if you are on your period, you can eat more beef to replenish the lost iron and nutrients
He had nothing to say and simply replied with "OK"
I had not yet eaten my fill when my aunt could not help but ask: "Douzi, you are back, where is Yesheng? When will you hold the ceremony (referring to the wedding banquet at my home)?"
"Bean, hurry up, your aunt has made your favorite braised pig's trotters!" The aunt cheerfully brought the dishes, freshly heated and still steaming.
Before marriage, the bride's family will discuss the betrothal gifts with the groom's family. In our era, money was not as devalued as it is now, so giving around 10,000 to 20,000 yuan was considered quite good. The more money given, the more face the bride's family would gain.
As I was about to display a look of confusion combined with a strong desire for knowledge, she continued her statement: "After the divorce, she became pregnant and it is said that they are going to remarry, which has stirred up quite a buzz in the village."
He is good in every way, yet he is a mama's boy. His mother points to the sun and claims it is the moon, and he believes her without question. I used to admire his filial piety, but now I understand that, women, when looking for a man, you must avoid those who are overly devoted to their mothers; having a mother means there is no wife. Douzi, you must keep your eyes wide open in the future; finding a man is essentially finding a mother-in-law.
This message must have been carefully considered by him for a long time before he sent it. I was having a great conversation with Yu Weiwei, completely forgetting that he was still on the other side of the internet. At first glance, I felt a bit angry; was he implying that I am fierce and lack femininity? But upon further reflection, I realized he had expressed himself quite tactfully. Nevertheless, I still felt he was meddling in my affairs, unnecessarily worrying about things that do not concern him! So I replied, "One should be genuine with good friends." Even so, I still felt he was meddling in my affairs, unnecessarily worrying about things that do not concern him! So I replied, "One should be genuine with good friends."
In our remote and impoverished village, the only form of entertainment for married women is gossiping. I never expected that Yan Zi, who has the closest relationship with me, would also become a gossipmonger. So what if she got pregnant after the divorce? There are countless young girls who conceal their premarital pregnancies from their parents and undergo abortions, and they could hold hands and circle the globe several times.
Is he still harassing you
This person is just being polite, excessively so. I also learned from him: "You're welcome"
How impressive Wei Xue was back then, she was the goddess in the hearts of the boys in our class, can you guess what she is like now
I originally thought I could spend a few more days in peace, but unexpectedly, my mother saw something about studying abroad on television, which reminded her of Zhu Yesheng, and she urged me to go to the United States. What a frustrating drama; can't they keep the old lady from getting addicted? So, I made an excuse to go to the United States to find Zhu Yesheng, packed my luggage, and boarded the bus back to the city under my mother's watchful eyes. Once I arrived in the city, I transferred to a bus to Wuxi. First, I needed to escape.